You and Your Newborn Baby (Part 4)

Some Basics about Feeding

Expectant parents know they will have a lot to learn after their babies arrive. They know it will take time to feel confident about diapering, bathing, and soothing a baby. Most have been told that feeding, too, will be a learning experience. It is not until after the birth, however, that the true meaning of this is dear. Parents often say they had not anticipated that the baby, too, would need to learn to feed. Also unanticipated is the profound concern parents have that their babies be adequately nourished.

Even as adults, many people are greeted by their mothers with the questions "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?" These are questions you will find yourself asking your baby. It is natural for you to feel somewhat anxious when the baby's answers are not as clear as you might like. Following are some basics about feeding that can guide you as you gain experience.

Postpartum Fathers

Feelings after Birth. Fathers who are present at birth are, more often than mothers, captured by the baby immediately. Whereas women may need minutes, hours, or a few days to feel connected to the baby, fathers often feel the power of this connection at the moment of birth. Unless the mother or baby is in some danger just after birth, the father is likely to find these moments life-changing and exquisite. These feelings are often blended with a sudden awareness of exhaustion.

A father also experiences new feelings about his mate. He may speak of his amazement at her courage, strength, and endurance during labor. He now faces the task of integrating his memory of her in labor with his previous knowledge and feelings about her.

A father may have to work through feelings he experienced while supporting the mother in labor. One of the most common feelings fathers speak about after labor is that of helplessness. Unless he is told, a man may not know how much his presence and emotional support really meant to the laboring woman.

A man may also feel that the labor experience has altered his whole life view. He may have gained a sense of the miraculous and spiritual, of a deeper meaning to life.

Not all fathers, of course, are able to share the birth experience. A lot of fathers who missed their babies' births worry that not having been there will affect their relationships with their babies. Birth is a special moment in the parent-child relationship, but it is only one moment. The years of child rearing provide many other shared moments that are just as important in the development of a relationship between father and child.